"Nietsche is Pietsche.'"

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

"The important thing when you are going to do something brave is to have someone on hand to witness it."

"I must dislike those who, whatever I do to please them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me unjustly."

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving."

"We cannot live, suffer or die for somebody else, for suffering is too precious to be shared."

"Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."

"He has never written a single book, so you can imagine how much he knows."